Tag Archive | Family

Poem: Mother (2)

Three children sit at the mahogany dinner table

Legs too short to reach the ground

The sun skips through the blinds

The fish tank hums in the corner

Rainbow gold fish swim rapidly

 

Mother sits tall

Construction paper and glue sticks

Dance around coloring pencils

Smiles bounce of each other

Music coos in the background as 45’s spin

 

School is out

But house camp has started

Mascot chosen

This year flamingos take flight

Each child draws their depiction of the pink bird

 

Feathers cut from tiny paper scraps

Mother, she nods in approval

Satisfaction in her response.

“Good job babies”

Arts and craft time ends,

 

Lessons begin-

History lessons and recess

Playground becomes a fort

Hostages near the stone circle…

Save the gi joes and barbies

 

Covered in brown dirt

Soiled linens crawl through the grass

Scrapes on knees and elbows dry from rough play

Siblings finding their way back to the back porch in time for lunch

Wash hands and freshen

 

Cant open the fridge until clean

Mother laughs as each child runs to the bathroom

On the second story

Of the home… noisy

Glass door slams as last child lingers.

 

Midday in Summer always changes

Though each day stamping itself

Into the hearts of Mother’s harmony

She sings a lullaby

Places the last piece of bread on top of the bologna

 

Light mayo, no crust…

Children rush the table again

It is here they break in prayer and devour a half days work

And play…

It is here that the teachings are given

 

And mother is proud of her young.

 

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Reflecting On Mothers

Pizza Hut restauraunt in Athens, Ohio, United ...

Image via Wikipedia

Thanks to Tonia’s Basket Faze (((http://www.toniasbasketfaze.com/))) I was able to enter her giveaway contest for a $25 Gift Certificate for purchase of a Basket… We were asked to post a childhood memory of our mothers… this is what I wrote.. I wanted to share it with you all.  Upon finishing I would love if you would post your own response to the memories you have with you mother or mother figure. Thanks for the love.

I posted the following:

“I remember my mom always providing the important things when we were young… From Science projects to meals… we may not have known where they were coming from but she always seemed to pull everything we needed out the sky…. She always made life a musical… being a prof. singer & actress in my youth… She took us across the nation to see her perform… she taught me the value of creativity. She used to have “Hill’s camp” every summer it was me & my two brothers… we would pick out a mascot & colors you name it. She would take us around to museums or events parks you name it! Although we had to go through those days/ nights w/o like lights or even water after my parents parted…. we still found time to laugh… I never saw these things as a struggle. She made me enjoy life. My mom was the mom to all the kids in the neighborhood, heck the town I lived in b/c she was the music teacher to many of them & their parents. Our friends always had a place to stay if they had no where to go… I remember her selflessness… even as an adult I find that she has not changed. She is still as giving today as she was then. She still knows the value of love… and family. She still goes without so we can have…and I am honored to call her mom. One memory I have in particular my mom wrapped our whole Christmas in foil…and mailed it to us from wherever she was performing…. and on Christmas day she flew in to surprise us with a “tinsel” surprise! She even went out and made prints in the snow to make it seem like Santa flew her home …the works! Oh and how can I forget the birthday parties!!!! Every year my mom would make the INFAMOUS Candy cakes for our birthday & throw us a house party inviting the entire grade level!!! She would even throw them at the local Pizza Hut ((which as a kid is fun!)) She would have all these games and we’d bug out! ( Check my throwback pics for those memories 😉 )You know Tonia… I appreciate you having this section… b/c honestly it’s always nice reflecting on the memories I share with my mom… “Mama Hill” is an amazing woman…I’m glad to call her my mom & best friend! * Happy Mother’s Day to ALL!”

Check out her site http://www.toniasbasketfaze.com/ or her group page on FB https://www.facebook.com/toniasbasketfaze for updates on what she has going on. Support your local businesses they keep your communities striving.

Showing love to all mothers…

Peace Love & Poetik Enlightenment

Leandrea “Luvleeh Poetiklocks” Hill

A response to ” The holidays are the biggest fraud to holidays PERIOD” on FB

Here is the link to that sparked the following responses :http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=180363428644774

I respect this man and his thoughts as he is a fellow poet. However I have decided to post my response on my blog for others to see….

To some they may be offended by this blog; but however I am not. Yes my “immediate” family sees each other sporadically throughout the year and my extended family well…. like you said no one has died in the past few years, although my grams was visiting for over a month last month. But, when it comes to the holidays one can choose whether to utilize that time to see family or not. I think fraudulent would be someone who solely comes for the feasting of foods or receiving of gifts. It is the 2 times in a year where families can have reunions….
I think this blog says a lot on the “fraudulent” side for the simple fact that it bothers you possibly with your own family. If people took time to build quality days year round like you mentioned the holiday would not be so overrated. What makes it overrated are the commercials and such-
I am contemplating not even going to visit my family on this day just to boycott the commercialism behind such holidays.
Never the less I do not knock anyone or their families who choose to share in a time of sharing, love and feasting. The few things that represent Thanksgiving.
You must also consider that many families only get these few days off in the year b/c most folks work daily to make a living…Heck my father is working on Thanksgiving! So, if it means for families to remember the joys of being a family more “publicly” on this day by making claims to see each other…. then you know what more power to them…at least they remember the importance of love…and in the end …if you have that…those other minuscule things you speak of….well they have no weight.Such as…not supporting lifestyles etc…. b/c honestly in the end …. it doesn’t matter – I dealt w/ this in my own family…and we still show and have love….and feast every holiday w/ family and friends…..

OK so the above is my response and I stand by it. It simply means that celebrating the holiday can be overrated… not for families… but for the fact that there are ppl who will wake on these mornings w/o families / home/ food searching for even a stranger to share with. Why get mad if one wants to share with his/her family regardless of what happened over the year? This is a time for ppl to forgive and build as one unit.

We cannot pick who are families are….only who we marry and even that nowadays becomes a circus trip… but if these families wish to celebrate the holidays together; crazy and all…;heck it’s what makes us human . We like to be communal! But while you complain about why you don’t like so & so…or what so & so did to you this year or last holiday….remember tomorrow aint promised nor are the loved ones which you complain about. Remember people everywhere are suffering , hell and some ppl don’t even even have the holiday to celebrate, while others still are homeless and hungry!

Be thankful. Be joyous. Be forgiving. Do not take into the new year what can be resolved on this year. Remember the things you’ve overcome as a family. I know I do ….even when ppl in my family touch my nerves! LMAO! because in the end…

I LOVE THEM…and YOU.

Happy Thanksgiving

Whether you celebrate alone with family; for commercial or not! Just be thankful! and don’t forget….feed a hungry family while you are at it…DONATE!!!! (Year round to the  Salvation Army or Good Will ( the latter is my fav!)

Filling the Loss of Love With Love

I just read my sister, Sankofa Kween’s, blog Open the Flood Gates Heal Your Life and before I could come to the end I was crying. At first I was unsure as to why I was crying, but I realized it wasn’t the experience itself or her sharing. It was my own thoughts running through my mind about Love- I tried to call her and got her voice mail. She wasn’t online either, so I knew this was a journey I needed to seek for self. So I did. I asked myself to find the root , the source of this pain.

I knew it was not from the day or anything going on in the present aspect of my self/life b/c today was fabulous and my journey is ever changing/evolving.

So, I found the source, it was not a surprise either. It was my father.Like her father, my father was not there after my parent’s divorce. I realized in this current experience that I missed him, I felt that I lost my best friend- my father. I was daddy’s little girl; as hard as it may have been – I was always around him, trying to follow his every move. Then he was taken from me; and be it the courts, or just his own doing, I lost him.

At the time, I couldn’t trust my mom and I feared my dad. The only love I knew was broken. so I took those pieces and mixed it with all the things a broken child has— nothing. This shaped a long insecure life. It molded those “blockages”( lack of love, no father figure), so I would not know self love. {I was too focused on getting it then giving it to myself}. I felt if it wasn’t coming from someone else, then it never will. A mantra I so often believed.

I remember fighting the thought of God’s Love because I felt I couldn’t see/feel it. Something age, experience so changed.

(I know I jump thought often...)Well, in this moment after reading my sister’s blog my mind, body and soul took a journey. A Poetic/ prose journey. It is the one thing I hold true and respect- poetry that is. It is the closest thing I know to God that is within me and I allowed Spirit/ Creator to speak to my heart through my words.

I will post the three poems that manifested as I poured from my soul; hugged the child within and told her it will be ok, and embraced my future as a loving woman; who knows whole heartedly that self love will draw me closer to God’s love and in return connect me to the King who is so destined to be my soul mate.

The following enabled me to push out the past, embrace the present and trust my future. This is what I wrote as the tears poured from my womb. # Poems I’ll call Past, Present and Future. All Rights Reserved. ( titles may change in future reposts/prints) It may seem like a rant but I wrote them as is:

PAST:(take 1)

Feeling the loss of love

Filling it with the thoughts of the same

I cry out from the depth of my womb

I held this in for so long

You left me

And I blamed myself

I never thought that I would ever want to love someone for I felt that love meant hurting them

I was always afraid

My father was my best friend

But my mother

Pushed him away…

*****************************

PAST (take 2)

I don’t want to settle for love

So many people around me settle for love;

So much I see why it pours through my veins

I settle too often for the 20 percent for fear that I can’t reach the 80 percent mark

So I need to shift

Draw back to my course and evaluate the journey

I took what others loaned me and called it my own

That their worthlessness was my jewel for epitome

It sickens me

I regurgitate their thoughts of me

Scorned in youth by those I cared for

Believed they loved me b/c love was their joy

My father set the example and I followed suit

Love just enough but love with truth

He was a good father

But a bad husband

Every other example I knew died…

and many of the truths came out as adulthood arrived…

so I strived to be the perfect girl friend

Only to settle as the perfect mistress

I let love miss me

Luvleeh ( Love Lee) an undermining name to what my heart so desires

that now every day ppl say they luv me though not even know it directly

Love me

Love me

Like I’ve tried to love myself

Love more than the broken nights

Drunk and yearning for a kind word or gentle touch

Love me more than quick thrill and ravishing rough sex

Take the night and draw out our future in the map of stars

Take me … mold me… God…

Love me

Nine years I abused myself

I didn’t need anyone to hurt me

I don’t blame myself for doing what I knew as life…

Molded in the blockage of my parents transgressions

I needed each blessing

Each prayer… to show me that God’s love… is everlasting…

That man once connected will be directed to me… and together we will meet in the universal healing…

For love knocked on his heart too, though he wasn’t hearing.

I don’t know who he is…

Or why I run from him so…

But I’m removing the braces and letting go…

If I fall… catch me in time before the ground carries me through another …..

PRESENT:

I jumped off the cliff for love

Knowing it would catch me

I felt the wind flowing through my hair

As the horizon shifted in milliseconds and gravity floated against me….

Yet I was moving in a forward motion

I was not falling….

Flying with a crimson sun to my left

An eagle flew towards me

Gliding only to look me in the eyes….

He bowed,

I smiled

Love was cool against my skin

Though the warmth of golden rays danced across my back…

I could not forget my past

So I turned from which I leaped

And saw my younger body staring at me;

And she smiled

A sign of forgiveness

My soul was free

Free to love

The broken parts of me were left waiting for an answer

As I got closer to the opposite side I saw my reflection in the dusty air

I drew closer to the image

As it molded a more mature me meeting the memory of past days

And she too smiled

A welcoming smile of peace

That the journey had ended and I came into her

Freely

Openly lovingly

Knowing that today I was born anew

As arms embraced my spirit and my new flesh

As she whispered to my heart

I love you

And I knew it was genuine

It was real

It was me…. And I turned to the sun now on my right

Bold in its glory

And I thanked God for the journey

Asked him to watch over the child within my past

Encourage her to live again

Free from all the pain

And secrets

Free from hiding from herself

And know that Love was always there…

For God never left her side.

FUTURE:

I cried

to let all the past transgressions dance out

of my soul through its doorway.

I cried

to let God know

I’m making more room for him.

I cried

to free the child within me

so she would know that love exists in every element of life.

I cried to live.

And I know now that love is what makes me whole.

Clearing

I am ever grateful for this much needed cleansing within my inner self. I cannot try to explain it anymore than what it is. I know it as truth for myself and in the end it is all that matters. I embrace this new found love yet again. I embrace Luvleeh for she is I and I do Love me. I embrace the love that comes to me through all forms of righteous, positive, true love. I embrace the love that is within in reach of every element in this realm and beyond. I see my growth. I see my heart beating faster like a fluttering first love. I embrace my King. I know God’s love is eternal. I know my love is eternal. I know I am Leandrea J. Hill the Luvleeh Poetiklocks of Poetry and I will continue to spread Love, hence today my name thus means the spreading of Love from Lee H, thus I am Luvleeh.

Rebirth in the experience. My inner Phoenix arises and takes flight.

Peace Love and Poetik Enlightenment

*Unity through Poetry*

Leandrea “Luvleeh Poetiklocks” Hill